Category Archives: Random

Life and its blues

Absenteeism

Its like being there and not being there at the same time. Maybe you’ve experienced it. When you feel like you are watching yourself go through life as a separate entity, sort of observing from above, hanging in the air. you can hear yourself think and make those decisions, but you are powerless to stop them.

It’s not an emotion I would suppose too hard to come by, especially today. The speed gets to you, you know. As I write this I can almost imagine the rich banker in the Big Apple, day after day of rinse and repeat, sometimes without the rinse after a night of heavy drinking at whatever bar opened up across town.

A better way to imagine Absenteeism is watch GoPro videos. It’s like a camera strapped to your head, and you’re watching this movie of your own life, live. Just like that Jim Carey movie, only more meta. More real.

The thumps get louder in your head as you try to disconnect from Absenteeism, and get back in control. you know its there, control, waiting for you to cross the line and grab it. People hesitate. It’s only natural.

what will you achieve with control? Maybe its just easier to let things be. Watch your life go past before your eyes.

For those still craving control, I do have a way to achieve it. You have to stare, stare real hard at yourself and hope you look back. And when you lock eyes, control is restored. I mean, I have many a time looked upwards at a clear blue sky in a grassy field, and wondered if someone was up there watching.

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The dictionary of obscure sorrows

cigvana

n. the feeling you get when you light up the first cigarette of the day, especially if its after a meal; the first drag of smoke fills your lungs, and you can almost hear the cells in your lungs screaming, their life extinguished; the tension evaporates from your body, taking you to a quieter, saner place; only temporarily however, and as you watch the embers die out and stub the remaining under your shoe, you are brought back to a discordant reality; you turn to walk back to your dreary desk, counting down the minutes to the next drag.

Inspiration: http://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/

Sab kuch ho sakta hai!

Came off a chat with a friend of mine, in the background of the UP elections and the story about the Samajwadi Party workers turning rowdy almost within an hour of their party winning a huge election victory.

Friend: Load kyon le raha hai, SP hai, hona hi tha.

Me: Kuch nahi ho sakta hai be desh ka.
<pause>
Phir bhi sab kuch ho sakta hai.

India is such a contradiction.

Bucket List

Decided it was high time I created one. (and on the sly claim to have updated my blog for the first time in 6 months)

This is a dynamic list, and I will keep adding stuff when it catches my fancy.

1. Skydiving: On the list even before ZNMD – and done as well – London Oct 2010 😀

2. Bungy: Macau seems to be the best bet for now.

3. Manali- Leh – Srinagar on bike – Must do for adrenaline geeks, the small amount of time I spent on bike in Leh set the tone. Also a 10+ day hike on the frozen Zanskar river (tad too ambitious maybe, but what the heck)

4. Update : 15 Oct 2011: One of those awesome drives down a US coastline or across Europe, yet to crystallize this one, but its on the list as well.

Any more crazy ideas for this list?

Confession

I have to confess. I have carried it for too long inside me. No, don’t mistake me as one of those who can’t keep a secret. I’ve kept lots of secrets (like Kumar Ritwik’s crush, or Anup Bishnoi’s fantasy or Sagi’s net worth). Haven’t told anyone. Not yet. (I was tempted, sorely tempted, but I held on.)

But this. This has gone on far enough. I thought I could secrete it in the farthest corners in my mind, where all the other bad stuff is. It was easy at first. Nobody even realized. Then things started happening. It was on facebook, in the newspapers, on TV. Anxious girls crying, clamouring, to get a glimpse, the constant updates from news channels, all the viral stuff on social networking sites. Everybody loved it. And with each status update, each news report praising the new phenomenon, it kept clawing at the back of my mind, enveloping my thoughts, and pushing itself forward. Its talons were cold and clammy. Soon it enveloped me. All I could see was “it”, laughing at my weakness that fateful day when I picked it up and leafed through it. I don’t know what had come over me. It was so enticing, erotic even. The smooth exterior beckoning to me. Calling. Enticing me into sin.

Life has been hell since.

And I have realized redemption lies in confession.

I did it.

I read Twilight. (All those who are reading this, please, do not judge me. It is in no way a reflection of my sexual leanings.) All the hysteria, the hype, it got to me. I didn’t realize at the time that it be the worst piece of claptrap that I could possibly have laid my hands on. Even Chetan Bhagat is better.

I swear it was a moment of madness.

And then I did something worse. I gave the book to someone else. Only to get rid of it. I only realized later that I had dragged him down into sin with me. If you are reading this, please, from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry to have thrust on you that abomination. If we ever meet again, I hope you will not hold a grudge.

And just when it was fading from my conscience, I hit rock bottom. They made a movie on it. The posters, the “I Love Robert Pattinson” status updates, the fan clubs, the madness. It was too much for me. I had to confess.

“Forgive them father, for they know not what they do.”

God save my soul. Amen.

My “Will be seen at an airport” list.

1 person reading “The Fountainhead”

1 hot girl travelling alone, and trying hard to ignore the stares.

1 extremely overpriced food stall, comes free with one pot bellied guy staking it out.

1 family with 3 over excited kids and the mother trying hard to herd them in.

1 bored business man talking on his smartphone and typing on his laptop simultaneously

1 Malayalee traveling to the “Gelf”