Tag Archives: write

Feel

I’m not very good at displaying emotion. That’s probably why I am a bad actor. I seem to have a standard expression for everything. That’s also why people think I’m a cold emotionless bastard. What I lack in emoting on my face, I seem to make up in words. You can read some of what I’ve written on this blog. It’s some deep shit, if I don’t say so myself. People find it weird that I can emote on so many levels. Heck, I find it weird myself.

So I realized that I don’t know how to deal with death. Do I cry? But boys don’t cry do they? What am I supposed to do? It didn’t compute. I went back to my fail safe. I bottled it all up. And I wrote. I cried while writing, but that’s allowed. Writers are supposed to feel. They’re supposed to be these romantic people right. Well, I am romantic. I just cant show it anywhere except when I’m writing. You should see the wall on my room. I have a lot of romantic poems up there.

Well coming back, I wrote, and I cried, and did both together for a while. Then I realized what would be much worse. A few years down the line, a bunch of us would meet, and we would see an empty chair in the group, and it’ll be like a void opened up. And it won’t be a good void, like the kind you have when you’re doped and all. It’ll be a deep dark abyss. And it’ll be cold. Very cold. I wonder what I’ll do then. Sure as hell wont be able to write. I mean it’ll be dark in the abyss won’t it?

How do you pass the time when youre on a long train journey with no company?

1. Sleep: First choice for me, but unsuitable for those who are averse to cramped spaces, incessant jerks, and a constant “chug chug” sound. But for those who can brave this, a nightout the day before and an upper berth makes for  a perfect combination.
2. Read: But again theres only so much of your reading that you can catch u on when the book and you are moving on two disjoint axes.
3. Music: An iPod can be a godsend, (I typed much of this on mine 😛 in hour 1 of my lonely trip back to KGP)
4. Ogle: Statutory warning: can cause risk to life and limb. Also severely restricted by the random selection of travelmates you have around you (I somehow always seem to end up with families, and no there are never any pretty girls around.  :|)
For those who want to give this a shot and want a strictly algorithmic approach, read Vinayak’s blog. He doesnt have a post dedicated to this, but the way he approaches the vagaries of life (taking a crap, chappals and the like) should give you some inspiration. To add my two cents read this/
5. Text random people: The girl you’re eyeing in college. The chaddi dost you havent talked to in a while, Random cousin. Hot female you met on internship. The guy on the next seat. Whoever. Its fun.
6. Write: Its what I did :).
7. Sudoku! Carry the days newspaper along. Sure fire way to spend an hour.

any more ideas on how to spend time are welcome.